"Wahai Muhammad! Katakanlah kepada para tawanan perang yang ada di tanganmu, "Jika Allah mengetahui ada kebaikan di dalam hatimu, niscaya Dia akan memberikan yang lebih baik dari apa yang telah diambil darimu dan Dia akan mengampuni kamu." Allah Maha Pengampun Maha Penyayang. (8:70)

I think I wanna straighten my life up today. And be a better person. Way ever then before. I think I want to stop being a mess now. Ive been for a few months. To think back, I could be here because of so many people hoping I could do my best and help out in the future. This is not about me alone. It is time to grow up.
I'd have my secrets to myself. why Im such a mess here. I wouldnt try to open my door to anyone again to understand whats inside. maybe because Ive come to realize that...Im not a little girl anymore. No one would really have time to understand. because everyone is in the constant search for happiness and misery would only divert them from what they are searching.
When I watched Kimi Ni Todoke, I cried. haha maybe because of how much I could relate to it. She said something about, suddenly having someone around to laugh with, makes you forget about how it feels to be alone. And the contrary to how easy it is to adapt to having company, it is very hard to go back to being alone.
But then, the years that has passed taught me that sometimes Allah take some things from us, so that He could replace it with something better. And I heard once in a Friday sermon, "If you wake up and you have nothing else besides Islam, then Allah has given you the best blessing in the world."
To the many people around me that I might have wronged, I am sorry. If there is ever a day that I got out a wrong word or phrase that might hurt. Or I just seem to make you feel like you're insignificant in my life. I hope you know that I try my best everyday...but in the end, Im only human. I'll try to be a better person. I would. I know. Even if I have so many things going on in my life, I have no reason to justify myself being a mess.
I'll try. Insya Allah.
:)