.b.o.r.d.e.r.s.

funny. i didnt even stop at a clothing store in the middle of the curve today. i walked straight to..Borders. I guess I miss those days when I used to grab a book, and sit by the large glass window, with the view outside, and read silently. Maybe I just miss being that person. That person who didnt care about clothes, or cosmetics, or accessories. That person who loves to watch the arrangement of words in front of her..reading thoughts of a stranger, how the author looks at an aspect of life, and sometimes pauses to watch the passer bys.
I just wanted to be her, for the minutes I spared while waiting for Hanis. I love to run my fingers across the neatly arranged books on the bookshelf..finding a title that would touch me. that i can connect to. I smiled...thinking of the last time I did that at the exact same place. It was when I was 16, when pak lang brought me and lina there. 3 years ago. wow. I find it quite sad, because for the 3 years in between, I never really went to that particular book store and really spent time to what I really enjoyed. I think I was too busy trying to find the right clothes..or food :)..or simply just passing by to watch a movie. And I realized how much I had forgotten who I used to be.
Now I dont care anymore. If its nerdy or geeky or whatever. I wanna go back to those times when I dont think too much. When i didnt think too much of what others are thinking. When I had my own mind on what I want.
My eyes caught on a title of a book..."Plain Truth". I felt a sting of sadness creeping inside of me. My "Plain Truth" is no longer there. Just lost in the middle of my thinking. Just gone without warning. I stared at the book for a long time. I didnt know there was a book called by that. I took the book and read the synopsis. I wonder if I want the last sentence to come true for me. maybe I should wait a little longer to know. Maybe I wouldnt. Ever. I felt my eyes wet..but I think Im good at resisting them now. And I put the book where it belonged..and started to find another shelf. another section.
haha. I think romantic novels are just not my thing now. Because soon after, I sat by the window. Nope not a romantic novel. Just a book about 9/11. I have plans in my head. And I think Id start working towards it by these small steps now. After all, a long journey starts with a single step :)