because of Him

:)

Waking up today, I thought, maybe I should write a reminder for all of us, including myself. My issue lately is about..laziness. :D Haha. Yes.

So this especially goes to myself. :))

I remembered once in my first year, when I followed a trip to this masjid outside town to listen to a talk, said to be delivered by a very famous sheikh. It has been three years, and I can never remember what he said, word to word.

But I remembered one thing, until now.

He said, "My brothers and sisters, do you want me to teach you a lesson, that when you learn it, insya Allah, success will follow you no matter where you go?"

Most of the audience nodded. Deep down, I wondered what would be that one lesson that could do so much?

And he said, "My teacher taught me this, and masya Allah, it has done such a big change to my life. The lesson is, my brothers and sisters, that you take care of your obligatory prayers, that they are always performed on time. And do not leave your sajdah after your prayers, until you have in mind, how you would fill up your time, between this obligatory prayer and the next."

"For example, if you are praying Fajr, do not leave your sajdah, until you have in your mind, what you hope to achieve before Dhuhr comes. And insya Allah, you will be successful."

I have always wondered the effectiveness of this lesson. And later I heard, a saying that says, "Take good care of your solah, and your time will be taken good care of."

What's the relationship, you ask?

Have you ever had a lot of work due, and you get frustrated, because you think it is impossible to even finish anything on time?

And that's where laziness creeps in, after frustration. Laziness comes from our frustration on the inability to achieve something. I would give you another example. Have you ever did something so many times repetitively, that you get very bored of it? I'm sure everyone has been there, wouldn't they?

Why do you think so? Well, I would argue that it is because, when we repeat something endlessly, the boredom starts from the frustration that we are not developing ourselves in any way new. We are frustrated with the inability to put one step forward in our journey to achieve a particular goal.

Hence, how do we change this? :) You see, the problem with us is that we see a large goal (or a long term one), but it is rare that we acknowledge that in order to fulfil that, we have to take small steps (or short term goals). It is like saying that we want a 1st class honours when we graduate university. And nothing else. When we look at the countless assignments, the impossible exercises, past papers that makes your brain feel like bursting, even with having a particular long term target, we end up getting frustrated, and that target doesn't go anywhere to motivate and push us forward. So, we end up finding laziness, the only thing that is blocking our path to success.

So you see, that lesson is actually teaching a deep lesson of understanding our own self. Yes, pushing yourself can be an option, but trust me, there will be a day when your very own self would rebel against you. You will find yourself unable to push anymore, your willpower exhausted over force. And every time it gets harder for you to recharge that will power. Force itself, gives a negative impression, and we as humans, when faced with something negative, we will naturally bring our our defence mechanism, be it if we are pushing for something good or bad.

A good alternative is to understand yourself first, and learn how to motivate yourself positively. Understand that when you give out a positive vibe, even to yourself, your own body will let its guard down and heed. Understand that our will power will wither with frustration, hence, motivate ourselves by breaking down our large goal into small achievable tasks. For example, if you have a project to finish, and a lot of reading and researching to do, set your own short term deadlines on what should be done. Remember, it is not just about setting an ambitious long term target, but it is also about convincing yourself that you achieve that target.

So that's where this lesson comes in. Taking one step at a time is not cliche at all. It is in a very different way, an effective method to achieve a big vision. After each prayer, we know exactly when the next prayer would be for us, hence we have specific achievable short term goals to achieve a very general long term one. Hence, our time is simply organised, and we can refrain from frustration of being unable to move forward, because we are actually doing that. The ability to achieve would build our confidence on our long term goal and instead of exhausting our will power, we are actually sustaining it. Remember, this lesson is not just about using our time wisely, but also using our will power wisely.

Why push ourselves against the waves, when we can seek to change the direction of the waves itself?

And NEVER abandon three vital actions in our daily lives. Wudu', solah and zikr are three very effective and essential ways to let go of the clutches of laziness. If there were to be the recipe to contain laziness, these three would be the three ingredients that you just cannot leave out or make do without. The saying of the Prophet S.A.W says it all:

Rasulullah once said: "When one of you goes to sleep, Syaitan ties three knots over the rear of his head, blowing into each knot,' you have a long night, so sleep on.' If he wakes up and mentions Allah, one knot is loosens, if he makes wudhu', one knot loosens, and if he prays, the third knot loosens, and he becomes lively and goodnatured, otherwise, he becomes ill natured and lazy." (Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Muslim)

Remember, laziness is not something that only comes from within ourselves but also from an outside threat as well, which is Syaitan. We need to understand that we cannot simply eliminate it from our lives. It is actually a threat that will constantly irritate us, hence we need to contain and manage it strategically, so that its force will not be strong enough to empower our lives with negativity.

I thought this would be a valuable lesson to motivate and remind myself as well as to share with you.

Hence, let us all make our lives revolve around our solah, not the other way round! :)

Have a good day :)

I found this from the past entries. Somehow, it is a comfort to me. All these quotes that I wrote down. Including this one. This one, seems to understand one of the many feelings that I am feeling. :) It's just nice that a string of words can make you feel that someone, or something, in this case :P, gets it, you know. That's all I needed, perhaps. :) I told Nazi once that I am more committed with this blog than even my own journal :P Haha I guess, I really pour out most of my thoughts here. What's left in my journal is perhaps the things I can never enclose to anyone else but myself. And surprisingly, there aren't many. I guess, I do express what's within me a lot. I try to be as transparent as I could. I like the feeling of not being restricted to myself, you know. These recent times, I try to just speak as honest and as straightforward as I could, without beating around the bush anymore. I try to. And I think I would like that a lot to be a part of who I am. :)

Well, two weekends in a row in Loughborough? :) Lets just say I need to be there for my brother I really care about. ^_^ I am clueless of what to do to help, but I guess, over the years, I've learnt one simple thing, sometimes you got to just be there for a person. Not try too much to fix things or interfere. Just be there. As simple as that.

I need to tune myself too. Just on the will power bit. Arinah has been a little bit stubborn on the hardworking department lately. And I'm still figuring out the problem behind it. Hehe.

You know, in the midst of all these, I'm glad I get to spend some time with my brother. It's been a while since we do that. :)

Pray everything will come through alright, will you? :)

I was right to say that it is a comedy. (I couldn't stop laughing reading this book :D) And a satire too. But I'd say that if there is a cultural extreme and a religious one, I'd say it is slightly tilted to the cultural end. For starters, lots of cursing words, which I didn't prefer much. But you see, looking beyond that, I find that this book is teaching me one really good lesson, and that is, to not simply judge someone. There is always a story behind why a person turns out to be the way he or she is today. And we should not be too fast to come up with conclusions on why they act a certain way. Often, when we do that to others, we'd find that when we really delve into their stories, that we are the naive ones who haven't really had that much share of life yet to understand certain things.

I liked the way the author depicted a solitary, religious old man, who kept to himself a lot. And how the main character, a young man who is a dreamer, full of life and tends to follow his instincts and impulses, after undergoing some conflicts and lost his wife on their wedding day to a gunshot ended up almost similar to that solitary old man.

There were also many scenes of debates in the school where Musa, the main character, and Khadija, who later became his wife, held the responsibility as moderators for the respective brothers and sisters' circles. For every session, they would discuss an issue, and we see the problem centralising the Muslim world of today, how we tend to argue on the branches, less important matters and are ignorant about the main, important issues concerning our faith.

I find often, the surroundings I'd often observe and stories I listened to, from the Muslim British here, whom their parents migrated to this country and settled here. I do think one issue about parenting was highlighted here. How the youths are growing up in a surrounding where Muslims are among the minority, and that they all face the same problems. They need someone to talk to, more than their need of strict supervision and nagging and expectations.

I'd say that this book holds an important question centralising around not just the community here, but Muslim communities, everywhere in the world. Where should our balance lie? Between a fulfilled life, our dreams and impulses, and responsibilities? Where does the true izzah of islam lie? Is it to simply react like a machine gun of words, shooting everyone around us with accusations of discriminations, or to blend in until our Islamic identity diminish? Neither of the two, I think. Both are extremes in their own ways don't you think? Where is the line between assertiveness and aggressiveness? And are we really practicing tradition or our deen in our lives?

Important questions posed I thought, but till the end, weren't truly answered. It gave me an impression that perhaps the author is still searching too, and the book was downright, honest. :)

And last of all, I like the way the author illustrated his definition of purity in a woman. :)

"Beauty would be nice," he mused. "Beauty would most definitely be nice but it's just not about the face. I think there is a kind of beauty that can travel from the heart and light everything up along the way."

:)

And yes, that's my best favourite quote from the whole book :D

P.S Next in line: "Marilah Terbang Ke Syurga" by Imam Ghazali Rahimullah :)

I have 10 minutes to write before class. :) Funny. I posted about this weird dream of mine this morning, but after a few moments, I deleted it. Perhaps, because I find it too personal to publish, or perhaps, I felt that I haven't really expressed the bottom-line I intended. And that is, which is what I quoted in the above saying. (^_^)

Perhaps, that was what I really delved into these past few days. And perhaps, that is the cure that I am searching for. To learn to really hold the right things with my heart, and the right things with my hands.

They say, hold the world with your hand, not with your heart, and the world will never be near enough to break your heart. I truly agree to that. For me, it took a lot of mistakes and arrogance along the way to be able to learn that lesson, hard.

I like the way Yasmin Mogahed put it in one of her talks. (yes, she's my favourite now :)) The way how, His creations are signs that should by fitrah, brings us nearer to Him.

The oceans are beautiful from a distance, but if we get too close to it, it can drown us. The fire is amazing from afar, but if we get too close to it, we will burn. The sun benefits us in so many ways, but we will die the instant we get too close to it. And the same goes to people. Be too close to people, and they will disappoint you.

You see that does not mean there's something wrong with love. No, not really. Have you ever heard of this cliche saying? "Love your loved ones for exactly who they are." You see, if we literally take it, that's how we should really take love.

If we love somebody, know that he or she is human, and that both you and that person are temporary, and that, there will come a day that the both of us will be powerless to help each other out. When we love Allah, know that He is the One that loves us and has mercy upon us, more than the mercy of our mothers, and that there will come a day when there will be no shade except for His.

And we orientate our love accordingly. :)

There's nothing wrong about loving someone, but there is always something wrong, with loving blindly.

Wallahu'alam (^_^) Have a nice day! :) Salam alayk. :D

A masterpiece by my cousin, Hanis Rafi. (: She's really talented, I hope one day, her talents will bring her far. Ameen. ^_^ Insya Allah.

What brought me here, you ask?

I am unsure myself. Perhaps if I were to give you my answer nearest to the certainty extreme, it would be, because of deprivation. Deprivation of the dunya. Things have backfired like they always do whenever I put anything or anyone at the same level as Allah. They hurt me, and every time it gets more painful. At first, all I saw was the loss of hope. I felt like a loser, everything blurred and empty. Moments that I blamed Allah through distancing myself from Him. Perhaps I was too arrogant to blame myself, I'd blame anyone or anything else, but me.

Alhamdulillah, He brought me to remember His mercy. This remarkable verse touched me greatly, that we cannot lose hope in ourselves no matter how far we have fallen. While we still have a chance to live in this life, there is still hope.

"Say, O My servants who have transgressed against themselves (by sinning), do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Most Forgiving, Most Merciful." (39:53)

I once heard that a speaker once gave an example of a little child with his mother. When the little child misbehaves, his mother will be angry with him, and scold him sternly. What would the little child usually do? He will burst into tears, and hug his mother, holding on tight to her hand. He doesn't run away from his mother.

That is how it should be with us and Allah. That yes, we have committed sins. But the next step, is not to run away from Allah or distance ourselves from Him, no matter how dirty and bad we feel about ourselves. Instead, we need to reach out and find Him the moment we have diverted away from Him, and purify ourselves by asking His forgiveness.

That was what I learnt.

And I don't know if the blackness of the blurry path and emptiness has fully fade, but I think the deprivation from the dunya do not seem to be an entirely bad thing anymore. I realised that sometimes, we tend to be superficial in judging what we gain and lost through physical presence and absence. Somehow, there is something more beyond that, the reality of the unseen. And that, I think, when we truly gain something, it is when it leads us towards the only One that matters, which is Allah, and that we are only truly deprived and at loss, when something cause us to divert away from Him.

I still have a lot to learn. Maybe that is why now, I am trying to listen more, and try to search for humility more.